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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22720759">(i’ll show you) who this heart beats for</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bre/pseuds/Bre'>Bre</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Artie Chronicles [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Arrow (TV 2012)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>(sort of), Alternate Universe, Angst, Anxiety, Dogs, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Oliver Queen Has Anxiety, Oliver Queen Has Nightmares, Oliver Queen Has PTSD, Oliver Queen Has Panic Attacks, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Service Dogs, Valentine's Day, the rating is for some cursing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 15:48:41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,282</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22720759</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bre/pseuds/Bre</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/20015089/chapters/47391541">(i will be the fire) that keeps you warm</a>, and the second story in my spontaneous “The Artie Chronicles” series. </p>
<p>It’s Valentine’s Day and Oliver and Artie have a very important question for Felicity.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Oliver Queen/Felicity Smoak</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Artie Chronicles [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1633864</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>68</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>291</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>(i’ll show you) who this heart beats for</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Prompt via cherrychapssstick: "4.5 prompt: All I ask + sunlight. Turn my bittersweet heart into mush like only you can, kloveyathanksbyeeeee &lt;3"</p>
<p>Title from Wilderness by Jon Bryant. Partly inspired by @Greeenlan’s cute as sin <a href="https://twitter.com/Greeenlan/status/1173984639188262912">tweet</a> (and oh yes, that photoshoot absolutely happens in their future when Oliver and Felicity take in a couple of abandoned pitbull puppers that Artemis 100% becomes the adopted mother to).</p>
<p>I have something else written that I was going to post today, but it is the opposite of sweet and fluffy, and so I whipped this out instead yesterday. Apologies for any mistakes, it's unbeta'd!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p><br/>
(<a href="http://creativesafari.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/karmal.jpg">pic src</a>)</p>
</div><p>“Look at you.” Oliver adjusted the headband
slightly. “Aren’t you just the prettiest girl?”</p>
<p>The three-year-old pitbull grinned where she
sat primly before him. Still panting from their hour-long run, she looked every
bit as cute as he knew she would with the fresh flower crown situated on her
boxy head. As if she knew what he was thinking, she wagged her tail, her eyes
gleaming, her smile widening, her tongue hanging out even further…</p>
<p>A line of drool slid from the corner of her
mouth.</p>
<p>Oliver chuckled.</p>
<p>“Yes, you are,” he said, catching it before it
could turn into a shoestring. “You are the very prettiest girl, and don’t you
dare tell Mommy that I’m talking to you like this, because she’ll never let me
live it down that the way she talks to you has rubbed off on me. She keeps
trying to catch us, but we know what she’s doing, don’t we? You’ve got my back,
don’t you, girl?”</p>
<p>Artemis agreed with a chipper little bark.
Diggle insisted it wasn’t “little” so much as thunderous, but either way, it
was damn cute.</p>
<p>“That’s my girl. Alright, you know the plan.”
The instant that word was out of his mouth, all the nerves he’d managed to beat
back since he decided today was the day roared back. Fighting to keep steady,
Oliver clapped his hands together. Artie instantly stopped panting, her ears
perking up behind the flower crown. It was so unbelievably adorable it made his
chest hurt and he huffed out another little laugh as she inadvertently calmed
him. “That’s right. You’re staying right here, and I’m going to have the
souffles, and we’re going to wait for Mommy to follow the flowers in here, and
then you’re going to distract her with how cute you are so she doesn’t see how
nervous I am. Okay? Good. Good.” And just like that, the tiny reprieve she’d
given him had disappeared. “Yep. That’s the plan.”</p>
<p>Ignoring the butterflies in his stomach,
Oliver patted Artie’s shoulder and stood up.</p>
<p>Was it hotter than it had been a minute ago?
He’d opened the curtains to let the sun in, but it was still early, and
February, at that. No way it was hotter. </p>
<p>Right?</p>
<p>Oliver wiped his brow and then dragged his
hand down his face.</p>
<p>His eyes darted to the large grandfather clock
in the far corner.</p>
<p>Almost 10:30 a.m.</p>
<p>His ribs abruptly closed in on him and he
frowned, whipping his wrist up to check his watch.</p>
<p>Yep, that was definitely the time, which meant
any minute now she’d be walking in that door from her work trip to Central
City, duffel bag in hand, a smile on her beautiful lips, those stunning eyes of
hers looking for the rest of their little family, especially when she saw the
trail of yellow daisies he’d laid out that would lead her right to him…</p>
<p>His stomach pitched.</p>
<p>With a groan, Oliver started pacing the living
room. Artie’s head followed him back and forth, her tail wagging every time he
walked by her. It normally made him smile, made him stop and talk to her, but
not right now. No, right now his already-pounding heart absolutely <i>took off</i>, racing so fast he had to force
a breath into suddenly stagnant lungs. And his hands wouldn’t stop trembling.
Oliver shook them out before rubbing them together. Clammy dampness made that
impossible and he groaned again, scrubbing them viciously against his thighs.</p>
<p>He was being ridiculous.</p>
<p>There was nothing to be nervous about.</p>
<p>Absolutely nothing.</p>
<p>Oliver didn’t realize he was still scrubbing
his hands against his thighs until they started burning.</p>
<p>“Damn it,” he breathed, wincing as the pain
caught up to him.</p>
<p>He turned his palms up to see bright red
streaks across his hands.</p>
<p>The well of trepidation he’d been fighting to
keep down overflowed.</p>
<p>Oliver abruptly stopped, his jaw clenching as
his hands started shaking again. There was something to be nervous about,
wasn’t there? It wasn’t what she would say, or how she would react, because he
knew with every atom in his body how it would go. Because he knew her, he knew
them, and he knew where they were going, and that no matter what it would be <i>together</i>.</p>
<p>It was <i>him</i>.
Oliver squeezed his hands into tight, trembling fists. It was tying her to him,
to his demons, to the shroud that followed him no matter what he did, or how
many people he saw,or  how much he talked
about what had happened to him on that island, or how much both his girls
settled him when his neurosis became too much. It was the worry that they would
never stop. It was the bone-deep terror that when he thought he was getting
better, it was actually him using her and their dog as a crutch. It was the lingering
fear that he was being selfish wanting to keep Felicity as close as he could
because he needed her light to keep the darkness at bay. He loved her, so much,
with everything inside him. More than that, even. She was his other half. She
was a key to a lock he didn’t even know was there.</p>
<p>But all the baggage that he came with?</p>
<p>His mind shot back to last month, when he’d
woken from a nightmare to find himself holding her down when she’d tried to
wake him, his hand wrapped around her throat.</p>
<p>The only thing that’d grabbed him from the
images in his mind were Artie’s wild barks.</p>
<p>Because she hadn’t been able to yell, to stop
him, to fight him off.</p>
<p>Oliver shuddered and he curled in on himself.
He had been horrified, disgusted, angered, terrified, but she had still somehow
managed to talk him down. Rather, he had let her. Because he’d <i>needed</i> her to, because the reality that
he had almost hurt her was too much to bear. God, he had let himself fall into
her, hadn’t he? Let himself pretend it was okay, buried himself in the belief
that it was fine…</p>
<p>Because otherwise he would have crumbled.</p>
<p>She had saved him, so many times. Even with
her own shadows, her own demons, she found a path through the darkness to shed
her light on him.</p>
<p>He couldn’t offer her nearly what she gave
him.</p>
<p>What if he never could?</p>
<p>The thought ripped open a wound that had been
festering since that night. No, since long before that. Since he met her.</p>
<p>His skin was suddenly too hot and tight,
closing in on him like plastic wrap. Saliva flooded his mouth and he swallowed
hard, a couple times, but it did nothing. His stomach churned, twisting, and
tried to take a breath, but his lungs seized up, closing as the full weight of
what he was doing hit him.</p>
<p>Was he really doing this? Was this the right
thing to do? For her? Things were going so well with them, why would he want to
mess that up, why would-</p>
<p>It hit him what day it was and his jaw dropped.</p>
<p>What the <i>hell</i>
was he doing? On Valentine’s Day? Of all the days, he had to choose <i>this day</i>? Not only was he potentially
changing the entire landscape of their relationship, he was doing it in the
most cliched way possible. How was that for a fresh start on a new path
together?</p>
<p>Artie whined and her cold nose bumped his
hand.</p>
<p>Oliver looked down at her, mumbling, “It’s
okay, I’m okay, it’s okay,” but it wasn’t. And she knew it, because she stared
up at him with those knowing eyes of hers. The same eyes that just a few hours
ago he swore had been encouraging all this madness.</p>
<p>An incredulous laugh escaped him, because now?</p>
<p>Now Oliver looked up and around and realized
that this was an absolutely moronic plan. He actually thought it would be
romantic, that it would be sweet, to do this on Valentine’s Day, of all days.
Yeah, it happened to be the day she got back, but he couldn’t have waited until
tomorrow? Or a week from now? Or <i>anything</i>
but this day? Was he doing it because of what happened that night? The thought
sickened him. He’d had the ring for months, but it hadn’t occurred to him to
use Valentine’s Day. Why would it? It was stupid. But maybe… maybe she couldn’t
say no if he used everything in his arsenal.</p>
<p>What was wrong with him?</p>
<p>He suddenly saw the room in an entirely
different light.</p>
<p>Flowers were littered everywhere. He’d asked
everyone to stay out of the main room for the morning. He’d baked <i>fucking souffles</i> and had put a <i>ring inside one of them</i>-</p>
<p>The front door opened.</p>
<p>Panic shredded his insides.</p>
<p>Oliver lurched towards the coffee table,
towards the serving plate holding two perfectly made souffles topped with his
homemade whipped cream sat. He had no idea what he was going to do when he got
to them, he just knew he had to get them out of there before she saw them and
knew what he was going to do. It would have been fine, probably, except there
had really been a plan, one that involved Oliver giving a command that would
have kept Artie right where she was…</p>
<p>But there wasn’t a single logical thought left
in his head.</p>
<p>When Oliver grabbed the plate, he abruptly
stopped in the middle of the flower path, looking around wildly, momentarily
struck dumb as he considered shoving them behind a pillow…</p>
<p>He didn’t get the chance.</p>
<p>Sixty-three pounds of solidly muscled pitbull
slammed into the back of his legs.</p>
<p>One second he was standing and the next he was
airborne along with the souffles.</p>
<p>He slammed into the floor with a crash, Artie
tangled up in his legs. The serving plate crashed next as smashed flowers
scattered everywhere, and then the souffles. One of them landed on the area
rug, the damage absorbed, but the other exploded right next to Oliver’s head,
sending chocolate and whipped cream everywhere.</p>
<p>“Artie,” Oliver gasped, jerking up, but she
was just fine, wiggling out from under his leg. Her crown was still on, skewed
as it was, and an excited grin was locked in place, making her look almost
manic.</p>
<p>But it wasn’t for him.</p>
<p>Artie didn’t even look at him as she bolted
for the front door.</p>
<p>“Oh… wow, what is… Artie!” Felicity’s voice
carried from the anteroom and his heart simultaneously jolted and calmed at the
same time. She’d only been gone two days, but it was two days too long. Oliver
closed his eyes, collapsing onto the floor, giving himself a momentary reprieve
- really, to revel in all that she was as Felicity talked over Artie’s excited
barks. “How’s my baby girl doing? How’s my baby girl? I missed you, too, yes I
did, yes I did. What is this on your… Is this a flower crown? Are you my
Valentine? Oh my god, you’re so cute, I could just eat you up… Where’s Daddy?”</p>
<p>That spurred him into action.</p>
<p>Oliver pushed up onto his elbow, only to
remember why he’d had the souffles in the first place. Cursing, he looked
around rapidly, and then for the other souffle, for where the ring-</p>
<p>“What is all this… Oh my god, Oliver!”</p>
<p>Her duffel slapped the floor and then he heard
the scuttle of her heeled feet as she ran towards him. Oliver was already
shaking his head, forcing a sheepish grin to his lips as he held up his hand
with a, “I’m fine,” but she and Artemis had already reached him. “Wait,
there’s-” he started. Felicity ignored him and dropped to her knees next to him
right in the cake and whipped cream, her hands flying to his face.</p>
<p>“Are you okay? What happened?”</p>
<p>“I’m okay,” Oliver told her, finding her arm
and squeezing. “Artie and I had an accident-”</p>
<p>“What?” Felicity demanded, whipping around to
look at the dog. But Artie was more than fine. Her crown was straight again
thanks to Felicity, and staying on her head when she started to sniff around
the spilled souffles. “Hey, hey, not for you, not for you! Good girl. You stay.
No chocolate for you. Good girl. Wow, you are so much better at training her
than me, she would have lost it like when I dropped the bowl of mac and cheese.
So what happened? And what… Oliver, is this all for Valentine’s Day? That is
so…”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” he replied when she trailed off. He
waved at the ground. “These were souffles…”</p>
<p>She wasn’t listening, though.</p>
<p>She was staring at the floor next to him.</p>
<p>His mouth snapped shut as his heart leapt into
his throat. He twisted to see what she was looking at, but he didn’t have to
move so fast because she already was.</p>
<p>Felicity picked up a messy little glob that
was very obviously a ring.</p>
<p>Oliver froze.</p>
<p>She lifted it up, right into a ray of
sunlight.</p>
<p>The beam cut through the chocolate and whipped
cream to the sparkly diamond underneath.</p>
<p>“Is this…?” she managed, shock slackening her
face. And not the good kind.</p>
<p>Oliver’s insides sank at the sight and he knew
he’d been right. His shoulders collapsed on a bone-deep exhale as he said,
“Yes. Yes, I was going to propose-”</p>
<p>Felicity’s eyes shot to his. “Was?”</p>
<p>“Yes, I was,” he responded without thinking.
“But then I started thinking about what it meant, for you, for us, and with
everything going on with me. God, I wasn’t even thinking, and it was so stupid
to think I could do it on Valentine’s Day, and then I panicked and Artie
crashed into me and we fell, breaking-”</p>
<p>Her fingers landed on his mouth.</p>
<p>Oliver stared up at her with wide eyes,
grateful she had stopped him, but utterly terrified about what she was going to
say.</p>
<p>“Was,” she repeated slowly. “So… you’re not
going to anymore?”</p>
<p>“No,” Oliver said and her face crumpled. “Yes.
No. I mean…” He huffed and sat up to fully face her. “I was going to propose.”
A little hum escaped her, followed by a tiny, beatific smile that transformed
her entire being for a split second. But then she seemed to remember what
exactly they were talking about and it fell away again. “But then I started
thinking about last month when I… when I woke up hurting you, and how it isn’t
the first time and it won’t be the last time, and how it feels like I’ve… <i>slipped back</i>. And instead of going
forward, I’m falling backwards, and I don’t… I didn’t… I just… I needed time to
rethink things-”</p>
<p>“Because you thought I wasn’t going to say
yes?”</p>
<p>“No. Because I want to be better for you. I
want to be able to offer the kind of life you deserve.”</p>
<p>“Don’t you think that’s my choice to make?”</p>
<p>“Yes, of course, but-”</p>
<p>“No,” she interrupted. “There is no but.”</p>
<p>“Felicity-”</p>
<p>“I chose this life,” she said, her voice
rising. “And I chose you, and I don’t understand how you can’t see that it’s
not either-or. <i>You</i> aren’t either-or.
Not for me, not ever. It’s not a ‘we can do this, but only when you get better’
sort of thing, because that’s not how it works. That’s not how it will ever
work. Trust me, I know. There was a storm in Central City last night and I
ended up sleeping in the hotel tub. Which, let me tell you, is not as
comfortable as the movies make it seem.”</p>
<p>Oliver frowned. “Why didn’t you call me?”</p>
<p>“Probably for the same reason you changed your
mind about proposing to me.”</p>
<p>“I didn’t change my mind.” He sighed as he
rubbed her upper arms. “I hate that I wasn’t there.”</p>
<p>“Me too,” she admitted in a small voice. “And
I know I’m sort of negating this because I didn’t call you last night, but I
would hate if I wasn’t there when you needed me. I hate the idea that you don’t
want me there, because I want to be there. I need to be there. This is
obviously something we both have to work on, but… I want to work on it. <i>With you</i>. It’s not perfect, but it never
will be. And that’s okay. I don’t want perfect. I want you. I choose you,
Oliver. I will always choose you, and everything that comes with it.”</p>
<p>A crack pierced through his chest and pressure
he didn’t even realize was there eased away.</p>
<p>“I choose you, too,” he said. “Always.”</p>
<p>“Good,” Felicity breathed. “You better. I
mean, who else is going to take Artie on runs, because it certainly won’t be
me.”</p>
<p>Oliver choked out a laugh, especially when
Artie took that as her cue to nuzzle her way in to join their little huddle,
pawing her way through the souffle mess. But Oliver saw right through the
words, heard the little tremble under them that always appeared when she wanted
to stay strong in the face of something way too heavy to carry alone.</p>
<p>And that was the point, wasn’t it?</p>
<p>They weren’t alone. Not anymore. Not ever
again.</p>
<p>Oliver’s smile grew as he watched Felicity
laugh when Artie’s giant tongue swept out to kiss her all over her face. Not
for the first time, he wondered if they ever would have found each other
without Artemis butting into the situation. But she’d done her part - she’d
brought them together, opened the door for a future of so many possibilities.</p>
<p>It was up to them to keep it open.</p>
<p>“Artie,” he said with a quick double click of
his tongue.</p>
<p>The dog immediately settled back and sat down
- right in the spilled souffle, but it was time for a bath anyway - and stared
at them with perked ears behind the flowers.</p>
<p>“Felicity…” Oliver took the messy ring from
her fingers. She inhaled sharply, going very still, and he smiled as he took
her left hand in his. “All I ask… all I’ll ever ask… is that you keep choosing
me. And I’ll keep choosing you. Forever.”</p>
<p>Tears filled her eyes behind her glasses and
she tugged her bottom lip between her teeth.</p>
<p>“Will you marry me?” Oliver asked.</p>
<p>“Yes,” she breathed.</p>
<p>“Yes?” he asked, even though he heard her. But
he just wanted to hear it again. And again, and again…</p>
<p>“Yes!” Felicity repeated on a happy laugh and
launched herself at him.</p>
<p>They kissed, a sweet, lingering touch that had
the crack in his chest widening even more, letting in a stream of light and joy
that had him laughing with her. With a grin as wide as hers and shaking fingers
that had everything to do with excitement and joy now, he slid the ring on her
finger. They both chuckled when the whipped cream made it easier. When it was
firmly in place, he kissed the ring, her hand, and then her lips once more.</p>
<p>“Yes,” she repeated one more time, and he
smiled so big it made his cheeks ache.</p>
<p>Artie’s excited bark echoed the sentiment. She
jumped in to join them once more, and it continued as Felicity said, “And yes
to you, too! Were you in on this, Artie? Did you know he was going to do this
today, I thought we told each other everything…”</p>
<p>Oliver’s smile didn’t go away, not ever again.
It dimmed, every once in a while, but he always chose to keep finding the
light, the reason to keep it going…</p>
<p>

He always chose her.</p>
<p>The End</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>My thought process while writing this: Alright, let’s do something cute and fluffy! A guarantee with Artie in the picture! Yeah… but don’t forget they’re both trauma victims in their own way… Yeah, and that this is a huge step… And that PTSD and anxiety echo for years, even when you work on it… Okay, so what if Oliver has a panic attack and freaks out?!</p>
<p>I hope you enjoyed it! Thank you for reading! Reviews literally feed the soul and muse.</p>
<p>Original Tumblr Post</p></blockquote></div></div>
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